Summer 2012 (only two months after the end of part I)
By the time summer came around, Miles and I were both single and still keeping in touch, but only as friends. I was dyyyying to see him and I knew he would be staying in Utah over the summer so using my sneaky tricks, I finally convinced Miles to come spend 4th of July with me. (I used my family as bait cause he loves them). He flew into Long Beach on July 3rd and by the end of the night, things were back to normal. It seriously felt like he was my boyfriend again and I LOVED it. We spent the entire week together and I could not get enough of him! He and I were both so glad I convinced him to visit that week. When it was time to say goodbye, I dropped Miles off at the airport and drove home sobbing, again unsure of when I would see him again.
A week after our trip to Bear Lake, Miles came back to Long Beach just for a weekend. We spent an entire day at Disneyland with good friends (which could NOT have been more fun), spent lots of time at the beach, and once again enjoyed just being together.
Then, just a couple of days after Miles went back to Utah(the very end of August), my friend Tegyn and I drove up to Utah for a week. It was so good to spend more time with Miles but this one was hard because he was leaving soon to go back to school in Hawaii. When the week was over, and we said our goodbyes, I walked away again crying. This time I honestly thought that was the last time I would see him. I didn't see how we would be able to figure anything out with him all the way in Hawaii.
While Miles was back in Hawaii for school, we continued to keep in touch. We would occasionally skype or talk on the phone and we texted each other fairly often. We were both dating other people, but I was getting really frustrated with the entire situation because I felt like I would never be able to fully commit to someone with Miles always in the back of my mind. I prayed alllll the time about what I should do and I never felt like I got a definite answer. I figured I needed to just make a decision myself. After a lot of thought, I decided I needed him out of the picture completely or I would never be able to commit to someone else. That was my final decision. And I needed to tell him soon. Because he had plans to attend a wedding that coming November and he would be staying at my house. I was so sure that I would end things with him (whatever it was that we had), that I joined a Ragnar team for a Ragnar in Las Vegas the same weekend that Miles was supposed to be coming to town. But every time the opportunity came to tell him my decision, I wimped out. I could not get myself to tell him. I kept thinking about how I would have to live without him and I hated that thought. But I was still confident in my decision. It got closer and closer to that weekend in November and I still hadn't told him. I finally realized that I would just have to tell him in person while he was in town. So someone else on my Ragnar team planned on taking my final leg so I could be home by Saturday morning(even though Miles was coming on Friday). But I didn't tell Miles this until a few days before he was coming. So he had to find someone else to pick him up from the airport and find somewhere else to stay friday night. I would have had no clue that he was super annoyed by the situation that I put him in because he was being so nice about it. But he was super annoyed. I got home from Vegas around 5 am on Saturday and then drove over to Thousand Oaks around 10 am to pick up Miles from his friend Nick's house. I walked up to the house, Miles opened the door, and my heart melted. It was so good to see him again. We had a fun day together but every once in a while I would remember that I was supposed to have that talk with him and it killed me! I kept thinking, "I'll do it tomorrow, just enjoy today with him." That evening, we went to a beautiful wedding in Dana Point for his friend Kellie. The ceremony was on a gorgeous hill overlooking the ocean. After the ceremony he and I walked around down by the beach. Sorry about all the kissy pictures below, but I needed to include those. Those pictures were taken down at the beach after Kellie's wedding ceremony. You can clearly see that I was CRAZY about this boy. How was I supposed to tell him that I couldn't have him in my life anymore?!!
|Miles and the bride, Kellie|