After Miles proposed to me, the reactions we got were either, "WHAT? That was so fast!" or "It's about time!" The people who have known us from the start have a lot of questions about what happened between us and how we decided that we wanted to get married. And some of our newer friends had no clue about our history at all. So I figured it was time to write out the entire story for anyone who is confused about how it all went down.
A Little Background on the Boy: Miles grew up in Northern California. His parents separated when he was 2 years old and his mom got re-married when Miles was only four. A few years later they had another child (his brother Grant). After Miles graduated high school in 2006, his mom, step-dad, and brother moved to American Fork, Utah, and Miles moved down to Long Beach to attend CSULB.
I had just moved home from freezing cold Utah and was at church at the single's ward (18-31 year olds) when my friend Shatara introduced me to Miles. Holy smokes I was so attracted to Miles the moment I saw him. We shook hands and I said, "you have a really nice smile." He said "thanks." And then.....silence. "Okay, nice to meet you!" and I walked away. But I remember telling my best friend Kacey that I thought Miles was the hottest guy I'd ever met. And that's the truth. After that day, I would see him at church and we would always smile and say hello.
|One of our first dates at Disneyland with my niece Katie|
It was around Easter time that I really started to fall in love with Miles. In May, we took a trip to Utah to visit his family. We had such a fun time and did so much fun stuff, but I will never forget our last night there. We were sitting on the couch and he pulled me in and kissed me and then said "I love you" to me for the first time. At first all I could do was kiss him and say, "you do?" But then I, of course, told him that I love him too. From that time on, everything changed for me. I fell more in love with that boy every day and could not stand to be away from him.
|During our visit to Utah|
On November 9, 2008, we celebrated our one year anniversary. We had a picnic on a beach in Corona del Mar right around sunset. As a gift, I got Miles a CTR ring and made him a list of 365 reasons why I love him. He gave me a beautiful diamond promise ring. It was such a perfect evening and I will never forget how crazy in love I was with him at that time.
I spent Christmas of 2008 with Miles' family in Utah. My mom had all my gifts sent to their house, and Miles' mom, Jennifer, had a stocking filled with gifts for me. It was a white Christmas and it was perfect. That week we made my first snowman, went snowboarding, made gingerbread houses, and walked around Temple Square. But the most memorable part of the week was when Miles received his mission call to the Washington Spokane Mission. We were all so excited that he had chosen to serve a mission. And him preparing for his mission and receiving his call made me start thinking that I might want to go. A couple days after Miles received his mission call, we were taking his dog on a walk in the snow and I told him that I also wanted to serve a mission. I will never forget that moment because he was so happy! He had the biggest smile on his face as he said, "really!?" and hugged me so tight. After that, I started to prepare for my mission as well. It was so awesome for us to be able to grow together spiritually as we prepared for our missions.
|The day we said goodbye.|
July 2009 to December 2010.
I left for my mission July 2009. Miles and I wrote letters to each other throughout my entire mission. His letters and packages were THE BEST. He was the most supportive boyfriend I could have ever asked for and his letters got me through the toughest days. 8 months before he was supposed to finish his mission, he broke his ankle and had to come home early to get surgery. He was home recovering for about 3 months and then he went back to Washington to finish the last few months of his mission. It was hard to be apart from each other and to only be able to communicate via letters, but I always tried to remember how happy we were before the mission. But, the month before I got home from my mission, I really felt like I needed to end things with Miles. I wrote him a letter telling him that I didn't think we should be together anymore. I remember standing outside of the post office in Bauan, Batangas for what felt like forever, contemplating if I should really send him the letter or not. I finally handed it to the post office lady and walked away holding back tears. I returned home from my mission in December and kept in touch with Miles' mom about returning all of his stuff to her (he had left most of his things at my house before his mission thinking he would come back down here to be with me when he got home). I had two large boxes full of stuff (including the promise ring he gave me) sent to his mom's house and a couple months later I packed my car full of Miles' things and drove up to Utah to return them.
May 2011- September 2011.
Miles returned home from his mission in May and soon after, moved to Hawaii to go to school at BYU-Hawaii. I messaged him on facebook to welcome him home and to catch up. We messaged back and forth a little but that was mainly because Miles thought that when I returned all his stuff to his mom, I forgot to bring his body board. But I didn't see his body board anywhere in our garage and told him I didn't think we had it here. He asked me to keep an eye out for it cause he was sure he left it in our garage. These facebook conversations about his body board led us to small talk every once in a while. Until one day in September when I got a super long message from Miles telling me that he wanted to know what had changed for me and why we broke up so that he could get closure and move on with his life. I replied to his message asking him if we could talk on the phone about it. The next day I nervously called him and heard his voice for the first time in 2 years. While we were talking, everything felt like it went right back to normal so quickly. It was sooo easy to talk to him. We talked for SIX hours that night. I tried to explain the best I could why I ended things and he was really cool and understanding about everything. We also had so much fun talking about our friends and family, our missions, school, work, and old memories. This conversation led to a handful of other super long phone conversations which led to us talking about the possibility of getting back together. We decided we needed to see each other so I booked a flight to Hawaii for November.
As it got closer to the time I would see him, our phone conversations had slowed down and we talked less and less about getting back together. I was still excited to see him though. I started my trip to Hawaii in Maui with some friends and when they flew home, I flew to Oahu. I landed in Oahu, took a bus to Waikiki, dropped my stuff off at the place I would be staying, and then walked around town while I waited for Miles to be done with class. He texted me when he was on his way (Waikiki is about 45 minutes from his campus) so I went back up to the room and got ready. I sat on the balcony and watched the sun start to set over the ocean when I heard the door open and saw Miles walk in the room. It was surreal. We hugged and talked without any awkwardness. Everything was back to normal except without all the relationship stuff. The trip went way better than expected and when it got close to the end, I wanted it to last so much longer. Miles and I said a surprisingly emotional goodbye when he dropped me off at the airport. I walked away sobbing. I think it was mainly difficult because we hadn't figured anything out concerning our status, and we didn't know when or if we would ever see each other again.
At this time, we were both dating other people and we were totally just friends. He came to southern California with his dad for spring break. Kacey and I were on our way to Disneyland when I think I saw on facebook or something that Miles and his dad were also at Disneyland. I texted him telling him we should meet up. So we met up with them and talked for a little while then went on our separate ways. Again, it was so good to see him but it wasn't enough, so we met up at Starbucks the day he was heading back to Hawaii. We got breakfast and talked and talked and talked. I was totally content just being his friend, but I can't deny that I still had feelings for him and seeing him again just made the feelings stronger. We said goodbye for what felt like the one millionth time and I left Starbucks that morning wondering if I would ever see him again.
To be continued..